Halving Jacksonian Democracy

In the 1820s, a revolution rose up against the Northeastern establishment. After being denied the Presidency in the House of Representatives, despite winning a plurality in both the popular vote and the electoral college, in 1824, Andrew Jackson, the Victor of New Orleans, was elected to the Presidency of the United States in 1828, winning Manhattan, Pennsylvania, and all the states to the South and East of Maryland, while losing such gay states as Rhode Island, Massachusetts, and Vermont. Being from a poor Scots-Irish family and starting out with almost nothing, Jackson became a victorious general, a backcountry judge, and a rich slaveholder in Tennessee. The campaign was fraught with insults, with Jackson’s wife dying months before the inauguration, but Jackson braved on, crushing America’s central bank and preventing its reconstruction from nearly a century, removing the Indians residing East of the Mississippi (a Kaldor-Hicks improvement, though not a Pareto one), replacing 1/5 of the ossified civil service, becoming the only President to eliminate the national debt -Hamilton’s persistent curse, and lowering tariffs from the horrific levels of the Tariff of Abominations, the only notable achievement of the unpopular Adams presidency, while successfully resolving a nullification crisis resulting from South Carolina refusing to accept this compromise. For this, Jackson was re-elected to serve a second term, and Martin Van Buren, his successor, easily won re-election. 100 years after his election to the Presidency, Jackson’s face was placed on the $20 bill, mostly ironically and as a symbol of triumph of America’s successful Federal reserve central bank system. Of course, this was just before the Great Depression, when the Federal Reserve screwed up most royally.

Jackson’s presidency represented the triumph of the common man over the elitism of the Eastern establishment and of majority rule at the expense of minority privilege.

Today, Treasury Secretary (((Lew))) announced the end of Jackson’s portrayal on the front of the $20 bill, to be replaced with some historically unimportant Black woman, and for the other bills to be defaced with a bunch of 19th and 20th century civil rights agitators, not a single one a White man. Naturally, Hamilton, that epitome of Eastern privilege and 1%er wealth, stays on the front of the $10. The establishment has, in Sailer’s terms, declared him to be an Honorary Nonwhite. Jackson, contrary to my previous impression, stays on the $20 bill, but is moved to the back. Consequently, some alterations to this post have been made at around 8:20 Eastern Time.

What the Democratic party stands for now is ethnic minority rule, whether by Blacks, by Jews, by Hindus, or by Sunnis. It stands for the abolition of male sexuality and the transformation of all women into slut issue voters. It does not stand for the interests of anyone but the top 1% and the bottom ten. Fuck it.

Author: pithom

An atheist with an interest in the history of the ancient Near East. Author of the Against Jebel al-Lawz Wordpress blog.

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