Jonathan (((Weisman))) is the real Carl Diggler

This is gold:

When I announced Tuesday that I would leave Twitter to the anti-Semites, racists and misogynist “Bernie Bros” who had been threatening female reporters covering Hillary Clinton, something clicked in Twitter headquarters. Almost immediately, I began receiving emailed notices informing me that many of the accounts I had flagged had been suspended. I could not determine what criteria Twitter was using, why @thebadgoy, @annudahshoah and @grandpalampshade were determined to be abusive, yet @CapoReturns, @wolfe_fan (A.K.A. Terminus Est) and @goyimist were just fine.

Meanwhile, fictional pundit Carl Diggler:

I’ve covered politics for over 30 years. I’ve been a war correspondent in some of the most violent places on earth. I’ve seen everything. At least I thought I had. That was before I met the Bernie Sanders supporters.

What I saw from this week’s Nevada Democratic Party Convention was the death of democracy.

Violent Sanders supporters reacted with irrational hatred when they were told that, under party rules, their votes didn’t count. They screamed, they broke things, they stayed in the convention hall for several hours after security politely asked them to leave. All because their entitled candidate didn’t get a delegate or two.

I wasn’t there. Thank God I wasn’t there. Watching the stream on LiveJasmine, seeing Democracy itself falter, was frightening enough to make me call my dad Col. Dig Sr. to leave a voicemail letting him know that his boy is safe.


Every day, thousands of vile strangers flood my Twitter mentions with abuse.

Often it starts after I’ve done nothing more than post a juicy scoop, like the rumor that Bernie Sanders once owned slaves or that Lindsey Graham is worried he’ll win by too much and break the Electoral College if he runs for President as an independent.

Nevertheless, trolls reply to my Tweets with vulgarities and threats.

They say things like “fill my hole, Dig” and “I’m going to lock [my round son] Colby in a treasure chest and bury him underneath Disney World.” They insult my appearance and spread lies about my body odor — which, frankly, is totally NORMAL. They make light of various Santa Hat-related technical support issues I’m having. They are ableist against a man who suffers from Hellenic Inner Ear disorder and Crohn’s Barfing.

Yes, I linked to the last a few days before, but it’s so goddamn funny how life imitates parody.

Fill my hole, (((Weisman)))!

Author: pithom

An atheist with an interest in the history of the ancient Near East. Author of the Against Jebel al-Lawz Wordpress blog.

2 thoughts on “Jonathan (((Weisman))) is the real Carl Diggler”

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