Trump’s announcement speech, beginning with describing America’s problems and his opponents’:

Sounds authentic, concrete, and barely scripted, even though not entirely true.

Jeb Bush’s speech, beginning with telling his mother to tell the audience to sit down (it does not get better):

The whole speech is comedy and hypocrisy. Just listen to it. I don’t think there’s a more genuinely funny figure in this campaign season than Jeb Bush.

Marco Rubio’s speech, beginning with his promoting the Project for a New American Century:

This dude’s a plastic robot.

Ted Cruz’s speech, beginning by advertising his illustrious parentage:

Remember, this guy was the biggest demagogue of the 2016 campaign. Dude’s very self-centered.

Hillary’s speech, beginning by talking about Herself, followed by “America getting ahead” rhetoric:

This speech is smug.